Is It Even Hair Gel?
by reBeCCa a.k.a. dacrayZblaze1
Summary: Rated to be on the safe side. Did you ever wonder how Saitoh and Sanosuke get their hair the way they do? Can hairgel really achieve such magnificent things? There is only one way to find out. Lol
1. Saitoh and Sano: Hair Explained

Author's note: HIIIIII! This is to answer a question I asked myself the other day! How the hell does Sano get his hair to stay up? Does the man use hair gel? The same thing goes for Saitoh Hajime. The weirdo. He's cool though. How does his hair always stay the same? And what is up with them 3 antennas he always has sticking out? What is that all about?

I credit this idea COMEPLETELY to silver miko. I just added on…

Its dedicated to Rukida!

Is it Even Hair Gel?

Hajime Saitoh, a Kyoto cop, and smoker extraordinaire was currently looking for his ashtray. He tore apart the neat and orderly living room searching for this article.

Why? Well, that remains to be seen.

"Tokio!" he yelled. "What did you do with my ashtray? I need to collect the ashes!"

A woman with long brown hair and green eyes stuck her head out of a doorway. She wore a black short-sleeved shirt and a jean skirt. On top of this she wore an apron with the words "Spoon me and eat me up!" Her hair was pulled back from her face in a high ponytail. In her hand she held the golden ashtray.

"Are you looking for this, my dear husband?" She had a truly evil smile upon her face that Hajime Saitoh failed to notice.

"YES!" Saitoh ran towards the ashtray. Tokio chose this moment to throw the golden ashtray upon the floor.

The glass broke and Saitoh saw his favorite ashtray hit the floor.

"NOOOOOOOO!" and he knelt next to the broken shards. "What did you do with the ashes?"

Tokio laughed evilly. "Don't worry, I didn't throw them out. I put them in the jar."

She handed the depressed Saitoh a glass jar filled with black ash and a black bag with many objects clinking around in them. He got up, dusted his pants and took the black bag along with a spoon on the table.

In the bathroom, Saitoh opened the jar, which gave of a putrid smell. From the bag he pulled out a hairspray bottle, strong hold gel, pomade and the ashes he had gathered the day before.

He opened the bottle of hairspray and sprayed the contents into the jar with the black substance. He took the gel and started to spoon it into the jar. He then dumped the ashes in the jar. He started to stir it until it reached the consistency of condensed milk.

Saitoh put the top on the jar and put it to the side. He opened the faucet and put his hardened hair under the running water. The force of it pulled his hair apart. He ran a comb with metal teeth through his hair. He turned it off and dried his hair with the blow drier.

He looked at himself in the mirror. The hair hanging over his eyes seemed strangely out of place. He took his comb and combed his hair back. He spooned out a portion of his concoction and rubbed it all over his fingers. He rubbed it on his hair and combed it back again. He then took 4 bits of hair, evenly spaced across his forehead and added this concoction also to it. He kept adding some to his hair.

He dried it with the blow drier. Soon it was as hard as a rock. Saitoh smiled at his reflection.

When he walked out of the bathroom, Tokio greeted him by hitting him over the head with a heavy iron skillet.

He smiled and said, "I take it that dinner is ready, Tokio."

"Yes," she said, "You know, one day I will be able to knock you out!"

Saitoh only laughed. "You've been trying for 15 years! What makes you think you will be able to accomplish that now?"

"Every damn day since we went out, you were 20 and I was 18. For 5 damn yrs and still I was never able to! And we have been married for ten years! I've never run my hands through your hair! WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE NORMAL MEN OBSESSED WITH THEIR HAIR THAT USE HAIR SPRAY ONLY… NOT FREAKING CIGARETTE ASH!"

Saitoh smiled. This happened every day. She never felt his hair any other way other than hard.

"What makes you think you married a normal man?" he asked her as he started to light a cigarette.

Before he put the flaming brand to his lips, Tokio took the cigarette, and put it out…

…

…

…

…

…

In his hair.

Saitoh stood up yelling and trying to put out the smoke coming out of his hair. He ran to the sink to put out his hair.

Tokio laughed.  
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Megumi, who was clad only with a large shirt, lay next to a snoring Sanosuke. She observed his perfectly coifed hair that always stood on end.

_How the hell does the bastard get it to stay up?_ She thought, _even if I run my fingers through it?_

Megumi lay pondering over such a scientific phenomenon. She was determined to find out… even if she had to hide out in his bathroom.

-  
-

Sanosuke Sagara, resident punk and freeloader awoke. He looked around and noticed that his girlfriend was nowhere to be seen. Good.

Apparently he did not notice the pile of blankets in the corner that was Megumi.

He looked into his closet and pulled out a large helium tank. He reached into a drawer and pulled out a packet of balloons. He took one out and put it to the helium tank. He started to fill it up with the gas. He tied the balloon when it reached his desired fullness. He removed his bandana and pulled out a machine that said static maker. He started to pass his bandana through the machine.

Megumi heard the crackling sound of static electricity. She observed the proceedings of Sanosuke with an interested eye.

Sanosuke put the machine away and dragged the helium tank into the closet. He took the balloon and started rubbing it all over his hair.

The hair stood up on its own, although it was all over the place. Sanosuke then took a comb and styled his hair in the spiky way he loved so much. The finishing touch was the bandana, whose static electricity held up the hair…

Megumi couldn't believe her eyes. He did that every morning! Wow, she always had to go out with the weirdoes.

Well, this mystery of the hair was finally solved…

END!

Author's Note: Did you ppl enjoy that? That is to explain why sano's hair and saitoh's hair is well, the way it is. If u are all wondering why I had to repost everything… its cuz my account was frozen and I had to do everything all over again.. so bare with me pplllss….

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	2. Sawagejo Chou: Broomstick Hair Explained

**Author's note:** here's the second part to is it even hair gel! I dedicate it to this fan that is Sawagejo Chou obsessed. I fail to recall your name, but if its you! Then this is just for you

And to any other fans of the sword swinging broomstick head.

He reminds me a bit of Benitora from SDK…

**Is It Even Hair Gel? Part 2 **

**Chou**

_Your hair! Your hair! It such beautiful hair! I wish I could get all of mine to stand up that way! Could it possibly some new kind of hair gel?_

_:**Insert Slick Announcer guy voice:** NO LADIES NO! NO HAIR GEL FOR THIS LUSTROUS HAIR! JUST A LOT OF LOVE AND CARE, AND YOU TOO CAN HAVE YOUR HAIR LIKE THIS!_

_**:Cut to scene-Chou surrounded by many ladies and they are fawning over his hair:**_

_**End Cheesy Dream Sequence**_

Sawagejo Chou woke up. He got out of bed, and his long blond hair fell to his waist. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and reached for his bandana.

Another day, another hairdo.

He got out of his room and went to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and stepped into the shower for a brief spray of water. After bathing, he set to the task of combing his hair.

He went to a room in the back of his apartment and lo and behold, there lay a table. On this table, there was ENDLESS AMOUNTS OF **_HAIR GEL_**!

**HAIR GEL! HAIR GEL!**

**HAIIIIIRR GEEELLLLLLL!**

Ahem, as I was saying there were endless amounts of hair gel, and multiple bottles of spray. There was a weird contraption hanging from the ceiling. It had a thing as if to attach hair to it.

The idea is pure madness!

Madness? We shall see.

Chou walked over to the table containing the hair gel. He took a bottle and proceeded to empty it over his hair.

And one more…

And one more…

And one more…

And one more…

And one more…

And one more…

And one more…

And one more…

And one more…

He emptied 10 bottles of extreme hold gel on his hair. He took a bottle of extreme hold hair spray and proceeded to dump it all into the fray. He threw his soggy hair forward and began to comb it from the roots to the tips until he held all the roots above his head in his hand he walked over to under the machine and he tapped his foot twice. The machine descended slowly. When it came down, he deposited all his hair in the contraption and waited for it to dry.

After an hour, he was able to walk out of the room, all though he had to duck a bit.

**-Walking Down the Street-**

_:Chou's thoughts about himself:_

All the ladies love me. They stay away because they can't handle the hair. I look too wonderful for them! The only person I will ever have or need to supply my needs is myself!

Poor Chou. (Who lied?)

He fails to understand why women give him looks of horror when they pass him by.

Nobody digs the hair Chou. Nobody likes hair to stand on end, as if you have a broom or an overgrown feather duster for hair.

Wait! Wait! There's a psycho out there for even weirdoes like you! Run Chou run! I think she's trying to glomp your hair!

**:image of tall girl glomping Chou's hair:**

End!

Author's note: I know the ending is a bit, no ok, it's completely off the deep end. But I was thinking of glomping and I was thinking of my friend (who fashions herself Rukida)

So that last part is dedicated to you, the one who calls her self Rukida-domo-dono-dude.

Lol… me and my weird as hell friend.

Now go review the madness!


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